I am not really sure how I came up with the idea of answering all 50 of these question but it did make it onto my bucket list. I have answered the first, second, third and fourth batch of these questions. High time to chip away and answer the next couple ones..
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Arghhh. Starting off with a tough one… I believe joyful simpletons do live a more relaxed life. Why… When you watch some of the expat shows the people who have no money, no language skills and no clue just go ahead with their dream. They just don’t spend time overthinking, preparing and planning. I am always amazed. I would prep so much that in the end one could probably call it procrastination.
I do like to be intelligent and I like learning but I do think and have experienced that knowing to much does make you worry more and start getting petrified. Take my continuous plan of seeking some art. I have talked about it endlessly but I don’t do it because of all the restrictions, bureaucracy and laws… I am aware of those. Others are not and just figure it out when something needs to be figured out.
So… Having to answer… I think I would like to experience life as a simpleton for a bit. Specially with this state the world is in.
22. Why are you, you?
Because of the things that happened in my life.
Is that a sufficient answer? I think it is.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Mhm… not sure. I think it depends on the friendship.
I have one ore two friends I could probably spend more effort with, get more often in contact and not wait until I hear something.
On the other hand I am the friend who is reaching out, writing cards and trying to connect and there is no response. Do I feel sad about it at times? Yes. Do I hope in another phase of life we reconnect. Yes. Will I continue to reach out. Yes. I am hoping to collect Karma points and in some way or another it will come back.
And then there is a friendship where we equally try to stay in contact. Those are the best. The deepest. The most meaningful ones. At least for me.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
I think either way can be painful. My former best friend lives in Berlin and we usually have couple of years between seeing each other. While it did make me sad for some time I came to understand that it just is this way. I don’t really have a friend who moved away. So I cannot really answer the question. But I think it’s harder when you are still in the same area. That only means your priorities have shifted and the friendship is not one of them or life is throwing a curve ball… no… lets be honest its not a priority anymore.
25. What are you most grateful for?
To live a privileged life. Growing up in a stable family, having a good childhood, being able to get an education, making money for a comfortable lifestyle, have a partner in crime to go through life and having time for hobbies.
So much for today. I can not find a sufficient end to these thoughts. But I leave you with a question: Is there one of these questions you could easily answer in one sentences? Is there an answer you would disagree? Or maybe absolutely agree to?
This post is the fifth of the series to answer all 50 questions. A thing on my 100 things in 1000 days bucket list.
17 comments
Oh those friendship ones are hard. I’m at the point where I don’t have any close friends that live nearby anymore, they have all moved away. I love keeping in touch via text and Facebook and phone calls, but it’s not the same as getting together for coffee or lunch or whatever. I miss seeing them every day. Some of my best memories are of the times when we were in school together or worked together and were truly part of each other’s day to day lives. For your friends who you don’t talk to often, for me, those relationships waxed and waned. There was a time when some friends were too busy (other priorities, ouch) but eventually we have grown back together. Some with careers, some with kids, some with both. So there is hope.
I am sorry your close friends are far away now. I agree as great as phones and social media is it’s just a different way of a friendship. Growing families is definitely a part for my friendships. Being without kids it’s always me who has to make compromise is location and schedule. Which I do but it’s still hard. Even though we live in the same city none of them is closer than 60 minutes. So no quick lunch without pre planning either.
I am hoping once we are in a different life phase some friendships will come back. Fingers crossed.
These are such profound questions! I think you answered them very well. I’m at a stage in life where I enjoy being a joyful simpleton. I think we have such information overload these days, and I’m working to have more silence and calm.
I totally agree that we live in a world of overload. I sometimes wish to move to some remote cabin and just shut out the world.
Wow! You don’t set yourself easy tasks, do you? I don’t really want to try to answer any of those questions.
Adult friendships are so hard. I hope that someday my friends who had children will come back to the fold and have more time to devote to friendship. But, if not, well, I guess I always have memories.
I feel you. That life phase with children is hard on us without them. I am also hoping that we can reconnect later in life. Here is to hoping.
These are some really tough questions, Tobia! I don’t know how I would answer ANY of them, although I might borrow your answer for #22.
When I started out this project I was not aware of the questions. I might have done these on my own and not publicly but here I am…
These are really tough questions. I’ve recently reconnected with a friend from school who I hadn’t seen in years and it was good. I also reconnected with a couple of other friends from school through running group (one of them was my best friend from high school) and chatting and laughing together, it still feels really easy.
Oh Melissa this sounds wonderful reconnecting. With those friends it’s a different vibe. Who have experienced the forming years. And you know the parents too. I am happy you could reconnect.
Oof, those are some tough questions. I think you did great trying to answer them truthfully.
I am with you, I often think that “joyful simpletons” live an easier life and it would be nice just to be able to turn off my brain and not worry about everything so much… but then again, I wouldn’t want to be so disconnected that nothing concerns me.
I think it’s harder when friendship shift when you live closer to each other. You wonder what happened for you to drift apart. I know first hand how friendships have changed when I moved away, but I still have some very strong friendships despite the difference… so they passed some sort of “quality test”.
Thank you San. They really do make you stop and think.
Wouldnt it be great to book a “joyful simpleton week” as a vacation? After that we are back to our selfs. That would be instantly relaxing, no?
You friendships defiantly proved the quality test. It is hard being away and not meeting for coffee however I think you also are more intentional in connecting and using the given time wisely. And sometimes I feel those moments are more profound. I used to have my pen pal in Prague and we talked about such different things in our letters. Now she lives in Berlin. We still meet and talk and all but it is different.
Tough, good questions.
Friendships. I had a very good close friend move away back to Poland where she is from and we kind of lost touch. I went to visit twice but this summer I wasn’t invited and I didn’t want to invite myself ;) I miss her dearly but she is dealing with issues and wants her space.
Oh that does sound touch. I am sorry. I guess having friends mii oh me to other countries is double tough. Hope you’ll reconnect at some point.
Question 21 has actually helped me out a lot as a business owner. I’ve been doing it for a while and really believed for a while that I was the carpet cleaning genius. I hired a tech who told me he thought we could do things more efficiently. My first thought was that I wanted to be the genius instead of the joyous simpleton. But I read the phrase, “When you’re ripe you rot and when you’re green you grow.” I think that’s what the question means to me. To be a joyous simpleton is to remember that you don’t have to be the genius. You can always be learning something new, and you can surround yourself with other joyous simpletons to challenge each other and grow a little more.
Oh such thoughtful questions.
I had a good friend move away last year. I was really sad, but we still keep in touch and text each other and she will be back in a few years (her Husband is in the foreign service), so I know I’ll see her again.
I do think some friends come and go and have different seasons. Also – losing touch is very different from someone ghosting you (or you ghosting them) – the former might be very organic, but the latter clearly there is something uncomfortable or unsaid.
Happy to hear you are still in touch with your friend and that at some point she will be back. I agree some friendships are there for a season or phase and while you value them it just doesn’t last. And yes… ghosting is hard. Did that happen to you? I can’t quite think of anyone doing that to me. I fear I was the one doing it to my one friend.