Welcome. How wonderful you can join me on my virtual coffee date. I would like to serve you a cup of my macadamia roast I recently discovered but unfortunately I am all out. It is just that delicious. So we have to settle for plain old regular coffee with some oat milk.
If you and I had coffee…
…I want to hear about what is going on with you first. I always feel like once I get talking I miss out on what my friends could tell me because we run out of time. Also I don’t want to start our date with some venting. Which will come later. So how are you? When was the last time you laughed? What books do you currently read? What is the weather like in your neck of the woods?
If you and I had coffee…
…I proudly share that the husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary February 8th. Marriage is not always easy and it is a commitment every day. So I am proud we have made it so far. Next year we are celebrating 20 years together. My life with hubby has almost been as long as it has been without him.
The left flower bouquet the husband bought for us in Denmark in a cute little flower shop. The other one was send to us by my Mom. We received another one from the husband’s business partner – which is still in the office.
If you and I had coffee…
…I share that I am currently a bit hooked on crazy eye make-up. Like this one, or this one, or this one or that one. Looking for inspirational images about SHAPE on Pinterest has sucked me into that rabbit hole. I am still pondering if I can pull any of those make-ups off or if that comes across totally loco. Is there a date when you are too old to walk around like this? I want to say no but I am pretty sure I would get crazy stares. Also I did try to do it that one day I was at home … well it looks easier than it is. I did buy myself an indigo blue pen to do it. I know… Please tell me you have these kind of crazy ideas too.
If you and I had coffee…
…I would need to vent a little bit about migraine attacks. Earlier this week I had a severe one that really left me all exhausted. I was in bed for almost three days. I napped every other hour. I took pills like other people drink water. And nothing really helped. My only option was to keep sleeping so I won’t be aware of the migraine. Luckily the last pill finally did the trick. I was ready to go to the emergency room the next day, let me tell ya.
When I met a friend early January who also suffers from migraine she mentioned how many days of migraines she has per year. I never counted them. But I was intrigued. (And slightly scared.) I have been tracking my migraines for seventeen years. So I have the data. In 2023 I had 48 days of migraines (and I am sure I didn’t track every single one). It also was a lighter year. The overall average is 55 days. When I last talked to my neurologist and asked what a lot of days would be she was hesitant to tell me a number. But at the end she said that I am on the higher spectrum and that we basically tried every available therapy right now. I told her for the next appointment I would prepare an overview we can look at together. It won’t change anything but I think it would help me to know more of the flows. For example I always thought April is a tough month. But my perception is wrong – it is the second best month right after December. July through September are a nightmare though. Anyway, knowing the data was eyeopening and at the same time just validated what I already knew. I still have to enter eight years from the beginning of my tracking but I don’t think much will change over all.
Does anyone else religiously track migraines? Is it data you would want to look at and know? Or rather stay oblivious to the fact.
If you and I had coffee…
…I share with you that I spend three afternoons at the hospital visiting my aunt after a surgery. The hospital was close where I live and I managed to make the time and be with her for 4 hours at least every day. It was nice to sit and talk that much. While we usually have long phone calls (when we call each other) it is still different when you are spending time together like that. We talked about things we otherwise wouldn’t have talked about and shared new stories. While the main reason for her being in the hospital wasn’t that great we made the best of it. I think she really appreciated me being there as no one else from her family was able to visit her (she doesn’t live in Berlin and her husband had to work). And I always hope it pays into my Karma account and one day my cousins and godchildren will come visit me.
If you and I had coffee…
…I would keep talking about hospitals. My dad will have to go back to the hospital for another set of surgeries. We are hoping that they can fix or at least improve his issues that occurred after the car accident a couple of years back. Ever since he is not able to walk without pain and is constantly on pain killers. He is not too convinced it will change anything but it can’t get much worth than it is right now. So good vibes and prayers are welcome.
All these issues make me think about parents getting older. It will be something that will come up more often in the future. How do you prepare for that? Is there literature? Is there a crash course? I guess it is with all hard things you learn when you are thrown a curve ball.
If you and I had coffee…
…I share with you my friend’s success. One of my book club friends has written a 500+ page Romantasy and decided to self-publish. It is coming out beginning of March and I am so happy for her. Isn’t that so amazing? It is in German so most of you won’t be able to read it unfortunately but I still wanted to share. And I love the cover. Pinks and Blues. So good, right?
I just learned a copy is in the mailbox for me to read before release and I am excited. What a nice surprise. I was all for buying it and supporting. So I will read and once I know the story I can see who I can gift it too maybe.
If you and I had coffee…
…I would love to share an experiment I am currently conducting. As you may know I’ve have some insomnia issues and I am working hard on sleeping more than six hours a night. Lately I’ve decided to manifest my wake-up time. So when I wake up in the night and can’t go back to sleep and read for two hours – I am adding the time and tell myself I am not allowed to wake up before 7.30 am. Or 8.30 am. Maybe even 9.30 am. And the crazy thing is. Ever since I do this I wake up 10 min -/+ that exact time. And I manage to get more sleep this way. I know it’s not gonna work for everyone with a set schedule and I am sure there will be times I am not able to push my wake-up time to later but right now it’s working. I’ve had more 7 hour sleep nights since I do it. Next up would be trying to not wake up 6 times a night. Baby steps you’ll. Baby steps.
If you and I had coffee…
…I want to share an image. I decided to take a picture out of my home office / craft lab every 15th of the month and document the shape nature is taking throughout the year. It will be fun to see all the images in a collage at the end of the year. I attempted this project many years back in 2017 but missed a couple of shots. Fingers crossed it will be easier just standing in my room and pointing the camera outside the window.
Do you have hidden make-up dreams? How is your sleep these days? Or your migraines? Anyone liking hospital visits? Or would you never set foot in a hospital? How do you prepare for parents getting older? Any friend’s successes celebrated lately?
12 comments
Oh, Tobia, I would love to have coffee with you! I’m so sorry that you suffer from such severe migraines, and that they take away so many days from your year. I hope and pray that someone will find a cure for migraines. It’s wonderful that you go visit your aunt. I think you do get karma points! And I send positive vibes and prayers for your dad.
How wonderful that your friend wrote a book! That’s a huge accomplishment!
Thank you so much Michelle. I do hope migraines will be researched more and a cure is found some time in the future. The WHO is listing migraines as 7th most obstructive diseases worldwide. You would have thought that is reason enough for research… But than mainly females suffer… Sigh
Thank you for your wishes for my dad surgery. Let’s hope it improves his pains at least. Better he can walk again more than a few yards.
I am very excited for my friends book to arrive so I can start reading.
Migraines seem to be such a scourge and almost exclusively for women :( I hope you find relief.
And insomnia. Argh! That is such a heavy burden for you, I know. I am glad that you have noticed some positive improvements and very much hope that continues!
Thank you Elisabeth. Yes, it’s a struggle but I don’t want to complain. Not always easy but I am working on it. Thank you for your well wishes.
So how are you? I am doing okay… yesterday was a rough day with the kids. I yelled at them, told them to go into their rooms and then cried for an hour while they consoled me. L was stroking my back and saying “rough day mom, rough day” R was telling me to breathe (I taught him that) “Smell the flower, blow the candle mom”
When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday! A social hour with colleagues.
What books do you currently read? Currently reading “the second brain” by Tiago Forte and ” the Historian” by E. Kostova.
What is the weather like in your neck of the woods? We had a snow day on Tuesday and it was nice to play in the snow. We got about 5 inches of snow. Thank you for the update about your life!
I am so so sorry you had a rough day yesterday. You must be exhausted and then with all the health issues on top. I truly hope you can find some self care moments to get back in better shape. I love the “Smell the flower, blow the candle mom” what a good way to teach breathing.
Glad you are finding laughter in all the rough patches.
Oh another snow day. We have 15°C today so it’s a bit weird. Two days ago we were at 3°C.
The migraines sound so rough, Tobia. I’m really sorry to hear they are such an ongoing struggle. Tracking them is fascinating, though. I love data and it’s so interesting that some months are regularly worse than others. Do you have insights into why that is?
I love your insomnia make-up sleep strategy! How cool that it is working for you!
Congrats on your anniversary! A whole decade of marriage — what an accomplishment. Here’s to many more decades together.
Thank you Suzanne. Yeah, I could live without those migraine days for sure but there are always more severe cases and I am happy I am not one of those unfortunate souls. I am pretty convinced July-September is hard on me because of the heat and the weather conditions in general. Or maybe its because I am never on vacation during those month and they are usually the heaviest work wise. I need to check that. Interesting…
The insomnia strategy works right now. Fingers cross I can fool myself for many more nights.
Thank you for the anniversary wishes. Off to another decade we go.
Oh goodness, an average year of Migraines is 55 days for you? That’s almost 2 months. I’m so sorry, that’s horrible. I wish I knew the answer. Do you read Nance’s blog (Dept of Nance)? I know she also suffers from migraines, and that she is on some medication that helps some, but they still get her sometimes. Weather is a big trigger, I think her January was overshadowed by them.
I hope your father feels better and that the surgeries help him. I’m glad you got to visit your aunt. Hospital visits are kind of singular, the situation is so odd and limited. You can’t go out anywhere, you’re not at home or the person’s home, there are doctors and nurses coming in, the patient may be wearing nothing more than a gown, it’s all so stressful and boring at the same time.
Congratulations to your friend on her book, that’s wonderful!
I can’t help but wonder if the insomnia and migraines are connected somehow. I guess since you track your migraines, maybe you could track your sleep too and see if there’s any connection.
Thank you Julie. Yes, almost two months. That is way I was hesitant to count because that number makes it somewhat more real. It is sobering. I am on preventive medication – the newest therapy out there so I guess there isn’t much more right now I could do. Besides better exercise and better sleep. Something I am trying to focus on. And my severe migraines lately have been triggered by me eating chocolates cake and candy more. I love it but I am finally admitting they are an issue for the migraines so I am staying of sugar for the next weeks again.
Anyway I do track my sleep too for a couple years now but I never put the two date sets together. But if I sleep bad I am more prone to migraines so yes they are related.
Thank you for the wishes for my dad’s surgery. Fingers crossed there will be a positive effect.
First of all congratulations on the anniversary!
If we had coffee together I would jump on the migraine complaint wagon with you. Right now I have them almost every week what sucks even though the meds usually help. I stopped tracking them religiously. There were a lot of ups and downs for me including 2 years without after each pregnancy.
Amazing that your friend wrote a book. I would tell you that my daughters’ friend self published a book when they were 10 what I thought was incredible.
I want to be 20 again to be able to pull off that make up. These days morning area rus and I almost never wear make-up these days. Honestly I never really did but I always think it looks cool on others. I love your picks.
I am so sorry you are having weekly migraines. It is so annoying. I am fearing perimenopause. I have met a few people who really suffered. Luckily for my mom they receded so I am hoping the genes have transferred. She also said she never had them during pregnancies.
I know I am so excited for my friends book. And self publishing at 10 is amazing. Kids today…
Haha let’s be 20 again together. Who cares.