Sitting here at the eve of February 29th and trying to gather my thoughts. This post is titled shaping happiness in February and all I can think of today is that grief is shaping life too. I truly believe grief can only exist when happiness was first. And so here I am. Sipping a whiskey on ice as a private little gesture to a dear soul that has been shaping parts of my life. It has been years since I last saw him. I haven’t spend a lot of time thinking about him in past years and yet, the news this morning did hit me. I knew it was coming. Being 8,000 miles away is hard at these times. It feels lonely this grief.
I am glad I got to meet him. He was the first and only real cowboy I ever knew. We had some good laughs. Some fun. Lots of bickering and you served my my first glass of whiskey. Here is to you CP.
How am I going to move from this introduction to wrapping up the month that had many happy moments. I guess I just dive in.
How I incorporated my word SHAPE in February
Shaping Life and Happiness
- I spend a day in Denmark and exploring a cute little town.
- I found a great recipe of sugar free brownie energy balls that are to die for. I’ll share when I make more.
- I acknowledged that work is slow right now and took measures. Also signed up for an English deep dive regarding AI and am now testing a few tools and educating myself.
Shaping Health and Body
- I walked 127 kilometers and an average of 5.794 steps daily in February. Two days I hit the 10.000 steps goal.
- I managed to close my Apple Watch rings only once but did meet my goal.
- I did face yoga for many days but not every day.
- I did five yoga sessions and a total of 2 hours and 29 minutes.
- I took two naps.
- I managed to sleep more than 7 hours for nine nights. What?! I am surprised. And happy. Two nights were actually minutes before reaching eight hours. But I also had 7 nights with 4 or 5 hours.
- I started cutting out sugar since mid February as part of my lent and also because I am feeling much better migraine wise if I do so. It’s been tough recently. I allowed myself cake today though.
- I went to a skin screening at the dermatologist and everything looks fine.
Shaping Mind & Soul
- I went for three of my four Mornings Walks
- I have started my 100 day project and have been sketching daily. It is much tougher than past years and especially last week with the face prompt was not to my satisfaction. But stepping out of the comfort zone does mean getting better, right?
Shaping Relationships
- Celebrating 10 years off marriage with Mr. ♥︎
- Meeting my friend for lunch.
- I celebrated my best friends birthday and I’ve been up longer even than on New Years Eve.
- Welcoming my best friend at my house for breakfast and a walk in the neighboring woods.
- Spending time with my dad while he was recovering from his surgery (which went well. Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and good wishes.)
- I’ve texted with friends in the US for a bit.
Shaping Home
- I have shaped the cleanliness of my home by regularly sending Axel (the vacuum and mobbing robot) on a mission.
- I enjoyed some flowers this month and reshaped the bouquets a few time until all flowers had been withered.
Shapes in the wild
I am on a hunt to find shapes in the places around me. Here are some triangles I found while for lunch with a friend. It’s part of a fancy shopping mall.
How I will SHAPE life and happiness in March
- Shaping Life and Happiness I will celebrate Easter with my family. I will enjoy the spring listening in the mornings. I will see crocuses and snowdrops around me and the first blossoms that pop up.
- Shaping Health and Body I will strive to do yoga twice a week. I will shape my days around more walks outside. I will continue the sugarless month. I will do a daily gymnastics exercise that should only take a few minutes but will hopefully strengthen my core.
- Shaping Mind & Soul I will continue to enjoy the 100dayproject. I will go on morning walks. I will sign up for a class in the community college. I will read art books from the library.
- Shaping Relationships I will shape my relationship with my sister by attending her 40th birthday celebration and the passing of her final exam and graduating. I will meet my friend. We will reinstate date night – once a month.
- Shaping Home Roll-over goal from last month: I will list more items on eBay to get things sold. I will start planing how to shape our terrace for the upcoming outdoor season. I will start growing my balcony garden. I will clean one hopefully more windows so I can see the shape of the world.
How was your February? How did you spend the extra day? Have you been shaping your relationships and how did you do this? Do you do date nights? What do you do for them? What is one thing you would love to reshape in your life right now?
20 comments
I am so sorry for your loss, Tobia. Even if that person wasn’t in your life anymore, there are people and shared experiences that just stay with us. It’s true though: grief also shapes joy. <3
Thank you San. Yes it does. And I acknowledge grief as part of life.
I love this, Tobia. So many shapes informing your life.
The grief you speak of definitely molds our thoughts and lives and emotions into new shapes. I love your belief that happiness has to exist before grief. Beautiful. I am so very sorry for your loss, especially as you are so far away.
Thank you Suzanne. I appreciate your kind words. Yes, I really do belief it. If there are no happy memories grief cannot take root. While grief hurts I am not afraid of it. I am glad I grew up with it not being a taboo topic. I know in many families and cultures it’s something to avoid.
I am sorry for your loss Tobia! Loosing someone always makes me lost for words so this is all I am going to say.
Hmm, February. It went by in a blur. Between school for the kids, work and day to day life I did manage to squeeze in three museum visits (one with the family, one with a dear friend and one with the kids). I am gratefull for the options we have here. Also started to plan out summer for the kids. 10 weeks is a long time to fill.
Thank you Meike. I understand sometimes it’s hard to find words.
Your February sounds very busy. But how wonderful you have three museum visits to look back at. It’s wonderful to have many options to enjoy art and culture and history. I think we’ll go to a geographical museum tomorrow and look at fossils.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You drew a lovely tribute to him in your 100 day project. I think you accomplished a lot during Februaary!
Thank you Michelle. February felt like the first month I am back to myself. I wasn’t sick. Ever since October I had been sick for two weeks each month.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Tobia. Your words on grief are truly beautiful.
Thank you Stephany.
I am sending you happy thoughts to help you deal with your grief. It is hard when you are far away and feel like you can’t do anything.
I love that you have started finding shapes in your life. That’s an interesting little scavenger hunt.
Thank you Engie. Yes, grieving from afar is different.
I love my scavenger hunt for shapes. So interesting to have a different look at my surroundings.
I’ve had a lot of grief in my life, most notably the loss of my parents, grandparents, and pets…it’s hard because it really sinks in and takes root, and makes it hard to find joy in life for quite awhile. That’s where I’m at right now, and accepting that grief is a part of life, and the only way to avoid it would be to shut myself off from relationships, is a good perspective.
February – I continued my January goals, I went out a couple of times with my husband (we don’t do formal date nights) and I got together with some friends. Overall a pretty good month. :-)
I am sorry you have so much grief lately. I know the grief for grandparents and hoping I stay away for a long time to know it for my parents. It is something that once there never really leaves, right? Hope you find joy in the memories you made.
Glad to hear your February was a good one.
Thank you for this post. A person who I was no longer in touch with passed in 2016. I remember googling their name and finding an obituary. They played an important part in my life but we became estranged overtime. I think of them often, they shaped my 20s essentially more than my own parents. In hindsight, life with them was insufferable but they did give me a life gift at the end. Hugs to you.
I am glad you enjoyed this post. Some people are just shortly in our life but will always have a place in our hearts. And it doesn’t need to be family. I like that we cross path with humans that have that effect on us. Hugs to you too.
What a lovely tribute to your friend. I’m so sorry for your loss.
My February was pretty good, and I had plenty of intentional time with friends. My husband and I both work in his business from home and also do running together so we spend a lot of time together so we don’t feel the need for dates but we love going out to restaurants and also on holidays.
Intentional time with friends sounds great. I try to do that more too in 2024z
The husband and I do spend a lot of time together too but it’s mainly just hanging out and watching tv and we decided we need to go out and make memories together so that is why we want to do those intentional outings.
Oh, Tobia. Grief tied to joy is so hard – the contrast, I think, makes the joy stand out more, but I always struggle with feeling both simultaneously. Sending light your way.
Thank you Anne. Yes joy and grief come together. And I agree joy stands out more but grief is patience.