At the Moment #4/2018

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Life is in full swing over here and I am actually happy. I am busy but not too busy. Of course I could always do more but I don’t stress and I like it. As the tradition has it I do a little snapshot of the moment to celebrate my birthday (if you are interested here is 2015, 2016, 2017).

.I think: 

This last year has been really good to me. It was better than most in the last years which doesn’t mean it was easy but I do feel it is going uphill and that is something I haven’t felt for long. However it also made me realize I am heading into being “old”. I don’t feel this way at all but it is what I realize in conversation more often and in reactions by people when they hear my age. Someone recently told me “so you are heading towards 40” and my reaction was at first “no, oh wait… yeah I guess I am, never thought about it that way”. When I considered this comment later on I wonder if it wasn’t a bit rude… Anyhow I don’t mind.

.I like: 

That Mr. ♥ and I have done some little weekend adventures lately in Berlin. Just little things like taking a drive to the lake (ok, we test drove cars but still). Walking around in the neighbourhood. Starting to implement eating at the dining table and not only in front of the tv. Also he picks me up every time when I arrive late at night at the train station. Makes me happy.

.I don’t like:

What I read on some of my “friends” facebook pages. Seriously how do you handle it. Specially political comments you can definitely not agree upon and are often times offended by. Do you “unfriend” even though there is a history and some sort of connection? I mean often times it is just repeated bullshit and we all know that getting into discussions there will do no good at all but where to draw a line? When do you put a stop to people spreading this sh**. Sorry but it seems like Facebook is full of that and nothing else is going on there anymore. It’s like an accident – you can’t look away because it’s so tragic.

.I feel: 

happy and content. And I don’t say this very often unfortunately. But it shows me I have made some right decisions in the last months/years and that does feel good.
I also feel the cool summer breeze on my skin which is a benefit after the heatwave we had and which is again heading our way.

.I wear: 

New earrings. I had to get a birthday present for my cousin and I finally “dared” to walk into a jewellery store I drove by for years always peeking in and thinking “oh well I can’t afford”. So when I went there with the goal buying something for her and realizing it was actually reasonably prized and really cute stuff I was a bit mad at myself. Why do I always restrict myself? Why do I not grant myself new beautiful things that I don’t need. Well I walked out with two new pairs and I couldn’t be more happy.

.I need: 

Nothing.

.I’m annoyed by: 

That I often feel overwhelmed with things I don’t understand. That I feel so “desperate” that I often don’t even start to attempt it or only half-heartedly because I give up on the way. And then I sit in a state of half-attempts and it annoys the heck out of me. Can I please get my motivation and drive back that I lost somewhere in the 20s?

.I want: 

Healthy hair. I don’t know if the first signs of age – than I hate it – or some weird other stuff. However I am rather sad. It’s just flimsy, dry, broken and nothings seems to works. I have a hair dresser appointment and will cut it off completely (20 cm or more) because I am done with it. Lets see if she can save something and work some magic anyhow short(er) hair here I come.

.I hear: 

Podcasts – check out my faves here, music – I recently discovered this album that I came to love and have on repeat

.I’m making: 

I am in the second half of “The 100 Day Project” and I am loving how easily this project flows. I am doing blue water color drops and often add some pen markings. Check out the #100daysofcraftaliciousdrops and follow along. I love playing around and trying new approaches. Unfortunately I am not always happy how my artworks turn out and sometimes I wish I new how to achieve certain things. I am usually not too patient with try and error but this is a fun way for me to play and explore.

.I eat: 

Too much ice cream. I just can’t stop myself. I have declared this summer to find the best ice cream parlour in Berlin. So every time Mr. ♥ and I are out and about I steer him to a new place and we have to give it a try. If you can recommend any cool spots, leave a note!

.I drink: 

I am bit of a sucker for the San Pellegrino Orange lemonade lately. It has a tinge of bitterness to it that I quite like. Other than that I have lots of mint/lemon infused water.

.I smell: 

Berlin. Can a city have a smell? I somehow think yes. For me it is when it has rained in Berlin and the summer sun is just coming back out. The wet dusty asphalt with a pinch of heat. Somehow all the life of the city is in this moment. The ugliness, the party nights, the smelliness but somehow clean washed, the green parks and the freshness. A new start, a new beginning, a slow moment and all the possibilities…

.I miss: 

Blogging, reading blogs, commenting on blogs and just being involved. I am a bit lost here and I have to admit I was – for the first time ever – considering shutting this whole thing down when I had to get this GDPR stuff figured out. It is a lot of time investment and I feel like no one is actually here – but did I ever do it for someone else but me?!. Then I saw the results on a instagram survey: Do you still read blogs Yes 53%, No 47% and I was really surprise. I guess I am not alone feeling lonely. And I should read more if I want pople to stop back at mine…

.I regret: 

How some conversations have turned out lately. How words can be so hurtful and that you can not take them back once they are said. That I don’t manage to walk the line between saying what is in my heart and needs to be said and being heard without hurting.

.I dream:

Of a house or apartment by the waterfront. It is an instant stress reliever being at the water, watching the waves and smelling the air. I sincerely hope it will not be a dream forever and I wish it will not leave us broke in its wake because right now it is crazy in Berlin and it will not get better.

.I read:

I am currently reading book #16 this year which is not too bad. It is called “Das Mädchen, das den Himmel berührte” by Luca dDi Fulvio. I am not sure how I like it so far. I struggle a bit with the writing style and it’s not as easy to be read as other books hence it takes longer. My goal this year however was to read a few more “sophisticated” books and not only purely “low involvement entertainment” as I call them. So I guess I am on the right track. Let’s be friends on Goodreads and share our reviews there!

Now excuse me I will find me some cake and check back on what I wrote last year. I try not to have a peek before I start typing away because I like to see if things change dramatically or if they are on repeat. Nerdy? Maybe.

Happy birthday to me and happy day to you,

Tobia