At the Moment #7/2021

It is 23 minutes before midnight. I am sitting on the balcony and as every year I am thinking and reflecting. It is my way of celebrating turning one more year older. I am not really scared of getting older. For me lighting another candle on the cake is actually something to be happy about. To celebrate. I do think we should and can appreciate making another trip around the sun. Back in the Middle Ages, heck even in some countries I would not turn that age. So yes, I am happy. But I am stalling. Here is my current snapshot of feeling, emotions and things

.I like:
… what this day had in store for me. Many many happy moments, lots of nice messages and a full heart at the end of the day. I could not be happier today.

.I don’t like:
… the smoke that is wafting up from my neighboring balcony. I am so sensitive about it. I don’t even know how I managed when Mr. ♡ was still smoking…

.I feel:
… tired. I am not sleeping very well lately and am awake around five. Which leaves me with around 6 hours of sleep. I need 7,5 hours to feel good and not spread grumpiness throughout the day. I so envy people who can sleep well.

.I wear:
… jeans and shirts and sweaters. Yes even though being in the home office for over a year. I get dressed. I never work in pj’s or yoga pants. I also wear at least some mascara most likely also lipstick.

.I learn:
…Spanish. I have picked it up again and have been practicing for the last month daily. I am still just having a small repertoire of vocabulary but I do have a few more than last week. Today I casually replied in Spanish when Mr. ♡ asked me something and it was all correct. Yeah for progress.

.I need:
… to make a health decision that I have been putting off for almost two years now. But by now I am starting to have limitations in every day life which makes me admit somethings gotta change. So now I need to work on my mindset and admit that maybe that surgery needs to happen and I can’t outwait this one…

.I’m annoyed by:
… the pigeons living in our back yard, taking naps on our balcony messing up my flowers, crowing like there is no tomorrow and just being pigeons.

.I want:
… the body and fitness of my 18 year old. Ok, too much? My 25 year old would still be ok. Thanks you very much.

.I hear:
… trees in the wind. Sirens in the back. The city.

.I’m making:
… a few more drawings for the 100 day challenge #100daysofcraftaliciouslineart Yesterday I created some breakfast muffins with left overs I had. Also I am making a lot of meals.

.I eat:
… unhealthy. The last year with both of us home has changed my eating habits to a more unhealthy way. Usually I cook healthier meals during the week and only eat meat and fried thing on the weekend. But now with all the cooking and often too tired after hours at the computer… I don’t feel good. I need a reset I think. Since I just learned Mr. ♡ will be on a week long business trip in two weeks I will probably do a detox week.

.I drink:
… homemade rhubarb lemonade. Too much coffee and many cups of tea. I try to drink more water now that summer is coming.

.I gather:
… herbs and wild remedies. Still. My niece just said last week “You are making tea from everything”. I guess she is almost right. I started making infused vodka too.

.I smell:
… summer. It is the first days that temperatures are above 20°C for more than a day. I can sit outside. The air starts to be heavy with smell of summer in the city – scents, fumes, people… I know in a couple of weeks I might not enjoy the air and will crave a fresh breeze but today I enjoy it.

.I miss:
…seeing my (few) friends. Being careless when in public and not think about where, when and with whom people have been.

.I regret:
… missing time with loved ones. This past year feels like I have not been as involved in others lives. No birthday parties, no gatherings, no quick coffee catch-ups, no family reunion, no visits to my sister, no dinners at my parents… I am just hoping and praying that nothing happens and I will regret being so compliant with all the rules and lock downs and trying to stay safe until fully vaccinated.

.I enjoy:
… my balcony. I know I keep on repeating myself but it is my happy place. I have planted some nice flowers, my mint plants and other herbs and even more I enjoy the nice conversations with my neighbors across the balconies.

.I appreciate:
… Mr. ♡ all day every day. Sure he is sometimes annoying me but overall I am thankful for having him in my life, his patience to keep up with my moods and the love I receive.

.I trust.
… that no one had corona and hugged my mom (after 6 month) and my dad (after 15 month) and I was so emotional. I did not know how much I missed hugging.

.I dream:
… of a long vacation. Two, three, four weeks at another place. Seeing new things. Getting new input, relaxing, breathing different air. As of today everything reopens here in Berlin and Germany but I am sure everyone is feeling similar and so many will go crazy. I don’t want to be in the middle of this frenzy and so I have nothing planned.

.I read:
… Homegoing by Yea Gayesi. Not sure about it yet.

And since the currently in June series by Anne is falling close to my birthday I add those prompts to this years list.

.I celebrate:
… my birthday. And soon my husbands birthday. And by the end of June I celebrate being fully vaccinated.

.I collect:
… too many things I want to sell on eBay. They are all gathering dust in my craft lab. I really can’t throw away things that are perfectly good to use. But I really don’t need them.

.I gift:
… myself a day off today. Maybe later I will gift myself a new book. The one we are reading in the book club I joined.

.I think:
… i have a good life.

.I try:
… to integrate more exercise in my life. It is a tough thing for me and so I try to do three 5 minute exercises a week. Just standing at the balcony and doing some stretches after a long day at the desk is better than nothing. But I am hoping I can increase that.

And just like that another year in the books. If you enjoyed this post you may also like a look in my previous birthday wrap ups 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020. I’ll read about last year now.

Happy birthday to me and happy day to you

Tobia