Edit Wednesday, 9:42 pm: I wrote this post this afternoon when sorting my thoughts after the election results for the US came in. At 9:36pm national news report that Chancellor Scholz has dismissed Minister of Finance from all offices and with that his party who is part of the coalition. With that the current government is no longer able to work. In January he will ask the “Question of Confidence” meaning if he will not receive a vote of confidence aka majority we will have new elections. What is this shit show of world politics? (Sorry for my word of choice.) So my post and the meaning of this post has added a whole lot more layers in mere 4 hours after writing it. My attempt of a list of coping is now more needed than anything. I cannot fathom what is happening right now. I am not sure my attempt at this list is helpful at all really. I am doubting everything.
Earlier this year – after the elections of the European Parliament – I wrote a post called “The shape of the world“. We all know what happened in the past 24 hours and I could write a whole new post about my feelings – I sure have enough. But… I think shifting my mindset and writing a list for coping with the shape of the world instead is a better idea. I encourage you to add your ideas in the comment and I hope it makes you and me feel not all is lost.
I first want to start of with a line from the Bible. I know not everyone is religious but this particular sentences is working for every single one of us and it has helped me through many dark days. Maybe it is speaking to you today:
For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?
Romans 8:24
Earlier today I listened to a podcast by an artists duo who discuss certain topics such as “Freedom” the episode I listened to and was inspired by. They had some really interesting and good ideas as well as a handful of quotes. I’ll add a few of my own thoughts.
Hate & Respect
Sally Kohn says in her TED talk “Hating a nazi is still hate. ” And hate really doesn’t get us anywhere. I think we have seen that numerous times in history. So what can we do when we feel all that is left is hate and condescension for the people stupid enough to ruin this world with their vote, with their actions, with their money. Well, maybe we need to start by not hating.
And that starts with you. With me. With us. It is rather simple actually and yet so hard at times. But right here, right now we can make the conscious decision to not hate. Not hate a person, a situation, ourselves. Instead show respect. We may not agree but we can be respectful in our disagreement. Doing so we make the world around us better. And that may be a rippling effect. Imagine the person across the street is doing the same… The ripples intersect and here we are having a mini wave. Can we make it a tsunami? Working on respecting each other?
nmDid you know the opposite of hate is respect? I had to google it. It makes so much sense…
Singing
Studies have shown that singing is having multiple benefits. Specially singing together. While you sing a number of hormones are released among them oxytocin. This hormone also known as the “cuddle hormone” has been shown to reduce the potential for aggression. It also enhances empathy. We can all use that, no? So maybe when we are in an aggressive situation we just start singing? Would it help?
Actually history shows us it works. Have you heard about the Singing Revolution? At the end of the Cold War (end of 1980’s) when the Russian Federation was crumbling the Baltic States managed gaining their independence by singing their way to freedom. It is an amazing feat that hardly anyone knows about. I just recently learned about it. They managed to form a human chain of singing people across countries.
Let’s take inspiration from this.
Community & Solidarity
Seeking community, learning you are not alone, having someone to grieve with, talk to, hug can be so comforting when being desperate and depressed.
One of the thoughts in the podcast was, that because we are all so much online these days and therefore connect yet not connected we are living in our own little bubble. We have unlearned to listen (we usually click away if we don’t like something), we have unlearned to argue in a diplomatic way, we are isolated and lost. Community and solidarity can change that. Can give us back some of the human touch.
As much as I appreciate my online friends and community it would much better we could all collectively sit together and sip our coffees while pouring out our heartaches.
Creating & Consuming Art
We all have a way of coping with stressful situations in a creative way. For some it is crafting and creating. For me it sure is. I have written a couple more black out poetry in the past days to express myself. For others it is diving into music. The next is going to cook an elaborate meal or creating a new exercise plan. While yet someone else is typing out the thoughts in prose. I count all that as creativity. Taking your energy and making something with it. Giving yourself a voice.
And if you are not creating consuming art is healing. There are enough studies that show us it is true. So maybe a visit to the local gallery helps or stalling through online exhibits. A lot of museums have little online live streams. Find the thing that makes you happy.
Freud said back in the day: “Everything that promotes cultural development also works against war” Let’s dive into developing our culture and kill any hate, rage and fear by looking at art.
Here is some art I want to share:
- This song by one of the singers (Synje Norland) of the podcast called “From Fear To Hope” – just one of the lines: “I take a thousand breath from fear to hope, in the true believe that we will cope…”
- The album “Inspiration” by Florian Christl is perfect for calming the mind while being hopeful and up lifting. Spotify | Apple Music | Artists Website
- The artwork of Australian photographer Warren Keelan is very soothing. Specially his Moceanscape Collection.
You may also get out your coloring pans and start coloring in a book. It has healing qualities. Knitting and stitching may have similar effects.
Soul Food
Last but not least it is ok to eat your feelings. I know I do more often than not.
It’s been a grilled cheese kinda day lately but only because I am off sugar otherwise it would be my hot semolina or brownies. While I type this I am cooking a soup to eat after my English session… today’s topic: election recap. I know I need it.
So much for today and my list for coping…
Edit: I just read Allison’s post and she has similar and additional thoughts so hop over there too.
Please add your thoughts, your ideas, best practices, book recommendation or anything else you can contribute to our all sanity. It’s time to shape the world to a better.
The cover photos says: Today was the future in the past
32 comments
What a lovely post, Tobia. Thank you for this. ❤️
You are welcome.
Love this list! And it does help! The simple fact that you have commented on all my blog posts this month means way more to me than I can explain here or want to get into. Just wanted to say that and: thank you. 💕
you are very welcome. I love getting comments myself so I try to pay it forward and comment on every post I read. It can be very lonely this blogging business.
Happy ou also find this list helpful.
Tobia, this is incredible. The story of the Singing Revolution is fascinating. I love all your points, but the one about hate and respect is something I can do immediately. I’m committing to showing everyone as much kindness and respect as possible- including those I don’t agree with. Putting more hate into the world isn’t going to help anything.
I didn’t know the opposite of hate is respect- but now that I do know, I love it.
I know, that singing revolution thing is so amazing. Why do we never hear stories like that? These should be on the news!!!
Showing respect and being kind goes a long way and I really hope it will help counter all the hate, distrust and greed.
I was so surprised too that its not hate – love but hate – respect.
I just looked at Moceanscape images- how beautiful and calming they are! I am still trying to wrap my head around the US election…
Glad the you liked the pictures. One day I hope to have one above my desk. They are so beautiful.
I think it takes some time to wrap your head around what is going on… if you ever can. Because logically that is not something we will ever understand, right?
Yeah, I am not buying the hate argument. I do NOT respect Trump voters and I refuse to pretend I do. I will be SCRUPULOUSLY polite to them and no more. They do not get my love, my respect, or my tolerance for their viewpoints. Letting their cruelty slide a little at a time is how we got to fascism rising and I have to make my stand.
Ha ha I know the hate one is a tough one. I’m not sure I am capable of doing it because I just hate stupid people, but then we won’t change much with hating so it was a reminder to myself that I need to be more kind and I may not respect the decision a certain person made, but I can respect the person as a human being, not always right
Thank you for this post Tobia! I read a couple of poems that were about hope and that helped me quite a bit. It just reminded me that there is a way through all of this. Kindness, yes! I think it’s a good thing to model. I can use some more practice when it comes to this. Responding to hate with kindness is not easy when it causes so much heartache.
I totally agree. I really struggle with that too. That is probably why I wrote it down as a good reminder for myself. I would be interested in what kind of poems you found.
I came across Nikita Gill on Instagram and her words really speak to me.
Thank you I’ll go have a look.
It is so true about not responding with hate. But it doesn’t mean I have to respect these people for their choices, but I do have to live with them without it debasing me or those I love. It is so difficult but yes, having community and support helps, as does creating art or consuming art. Or being in nature. One of my coping mechanisms is to walk and go somewhere I can take photos. I immerse myself in nature. It works for me.
You are right… How could I forget the point going out into nature. It can be so healing.
I am struggling with the respect part too because why should I respect someone for a stupid choice. And as much empathy I try it’s still tough. So maybe something in the middle of hate and respect is the way to go? I am not sure.
This is a good list! I think that finding a creative way to get rid of your anger, hate or disappointment is a great idea. I think part of it lies in understanding, and we cannot do that in a vacuum. So the best thing to do is to educate ourselves and others and hopefully bring us all up little by little.
When I used to have a stressful day at work, my outlet was exercise. I would get outside, breathe the fresh air, look at beautiful things, and get my heart rate up and it helped me to bring things back into perspective, and to shake off whatever was ailing me. I am not saying it is a Band-Aid to fix all of the world’s problems, but it can get me into a clear enough head that I can make a good start!
Good point. Clearing your head and not be impulsive in these moments and difficult times is a good if not the best strategy. And exercise can do that – for many people… not sure I belong to them though. I tend to seek calmer exercises like creating or a walk in nature not so much sweating. But whatever helps.
Understanding is a key skill here. Maybe the whole thing would have been not hating but understand instead of respect because that’s a tough one…
It’s so important to find ways to hold on to hope and support one another in the face of challenging times. It’s hard not to give in to hate when someone appears to threaten your safety, security, or even the established legal structure that keeps a society together. I’m a little surprised I don’t really feel that as much as abject disappointment in people’s choices and while not hating the individuals themselves, certainly identifying what about their current or planned actions that are threats to others’ safety and well-being, and working to make sure we’re as protected against that damage as possible. I don’t have to spend my energy and degrade my own soul by hating certain people, but I don’t have to let them be part of my life either.
That is a very good point. I am also mainly disappointed and flabbergasted and I usually not inert act with these kind of people and I have no intention on doing so. However I keep wondering if are staying in our bubble and not let these groups be part of out life how much are we enhancing their thinking of being right? What when they are all in their bubble and don’t hear other ideas and thoughts and therefor not scrutinize their ways? It is such a tough situation I am very much struggling with. For me personally it’s so much easier to steer clear and let them be but for society it may not be the best way… So many thoughts…
It’s so complicated, right? I want to see people and be kind and hopefully bring them over a bit to my side. But if they aren’t willing to do the same, am I complicit in fascism? NOT OK.
However, I really liked your points about self care, music, art, etc. Thank you for that, it was soothing.
I am glad I could bring some calm.
Totally agree this whole topic is so complicated and has so so many layers. Like Engie said when we are letting people do their thing and not set boundaries it can go haywire reall quick. But how to do that with not waiting and keeping some sort of respect. So hard.
I needed this – thank you … and I think the “hate is still hate” is an important reminder; stay classy people, Linda xx
You are welcome Linda and welcome to my blog.
It’s easy to slide into the hate game. I sure I know I do.
It’s so hard not to give into the hate right now. I *am* trying to understand why so many people chose him. Do so many people really think the economy is going to get better with him? And does that cancel out the way he is going to irrevocably change politics and likely our democracy forever? It’s hard.
It’s definitely hard and I am not sure I am there but it’s a good reminder.
It’s not gonna be a walk in the park the next years. Fingers crossed he doesn’t trash the whole thing.
Tobia, what a thoughful post, so much rich and helpful material. I will need to review again several times as we move forward, I think.
Very happy to hear that you find this useful. I hope things will somehow be not as dire as they seem right now. Here is to hope.
I hadn’t heard of the singing revolution. So interesting. I also found it interesting to learn about how in the age of social media, we are apt to not listen as we are accustomed to click away from what we don’t want to hear. You make several good points. I’m laughing at It’s a grilled cheese kind of day.
The singing revolution is so interesting. I don’t know all about it, but I really want to educate myself a little more in it. Thank you for reading. I’m happy to hear it made you think about a few things.
And yes, there are grilled cheese kind of days a lot lately.
What a great list, Tobia. I agree that hate doesn’t get us anywhere. I always said that ‘hate is a strong word and I reserve it for only the worst things on earth”. I think I will continue to hate Tr*mp because I cannot find one redeeming quality in this man, but for everyone else, I will try my hand at respect. Occasionally, I think I really want to understand why people operate (and vote) the way they do. I am not sure I will understand it but I am willing to listen.
I hope other people have the same respect for me (us).
It would be a lie to say I don’t hate or at least I say I hate something. But I am not sure I ever really said I hate someone. I understand your sentiment towards Trump though. However, for me, I think the feeling I have is pity what a sad little boy he is. What I hate though is the effect he has on people and that he is able to manipulate that is something I really hate. I agree let’s hope other people try to respect you and anyone who has a different opinion because that is a real problem that not everyone is so reflective.