Virtual Coffee Date | May 2023

Grab yourself a coffee – or tea if you prefer – and join me for a coffee date. It is a grayish rainy day today. So much so that when I opened my eyes in the morning the light had me fooled of the actual time. Lots of things have been going on lately. Some I didn’t feel like sharing, some I wasn’t able to share, yet often enough no time or energy. But friendships need a bit of work and priority and since I see you as my online friend I decided today I take you to coffee.

If you and I had coffee…

…you would want to know how my apartment situation is going. And I can finally talk about it. The past two month have been dominated by lots of lawyer talk, back and worth and finding an agreement. We were not able to talk about it in order not to jeopardize the negotiations. But all is signed and now I can.

When we received the termination on March 2nd we immediately went apartment hunting. And despite the local market and availability within the first week we had four possible apartments to move in. Even one house. All of them of course not as as great as we are currently living. All had some pros. Some had some bigger cons. Some were gorgeous but didn’t fit our current life style. In the end we settled on an apartment on the other side of the river Havel in a different precinct. Not our preferred one. Actually one we never wanted to move to… But here we are. The good thing is that the layout is almost identical so that almost all of our furniture fits. We have to reduce closet space by 1,5 meters which is a challenge but here is to minimizing. Overall there are some compromises we have to make and we are paying about 20% more in rent so it does hurt – emotionally and financially. But every way we turn it is the best option in current circumstances.

On Tuesday May 2nd we received the keys to our new home. That day, afterwards I was feeling very down. I had hoped once we get the keys I would feel a bit more excited and seeing that all the negativity was a bit exaggerated. It wasn’t?! We saw the kitchen for the first time. Let me tell you – ugly as heck (this is obviously very subjectively as many people find it not that bad), functionality wise room for improvement, appliances standard and not the ones we we would have gotten… Yesterday, internet was installed and I spend the entire day cleaning everything. As it is a newly build apartment it was covered in saw dust, construction dust, construction workers used bathrooms… you get the picture. But I can proudly say I have vacuumed multiple times, mopped the floors, cleaned and disinfected bathrooms and kitchen and all light switches and door knobs.

And while doing so I was enjoying short breaks on the new balcony. I was able to see the neighborhood come to life. I saw when the mail man comes, when the waste collection is done. I got glimpses of new neighbors. And already spotted the danger of the dog across the street who apparently figured out how to jump the fence. I am scared of dogs specially the one that “only want to play” and are not trained. So I know I’ll be uneasy. We’ll see how that goes.

But overall I was feeling a bit better leaving that night compared to Tuesday. Maybe I could get comfortable there and see the new opportunities. There is hope. Moving day will be May 15th. So here we are T-9 . We have about a quarter maybe a third packed…

If you and I had coffee…
…I should mention that I have struggled with my wellbeing the past couple of weeks, month. All the emotional stress, the uncertainty, the feeling of people dictating your life and being helpless. Sleepless nights on end so that when waking up crying was the easiest to do. And at the same time marveling at my body because graciously it kept the migraines at bay. I guess it knows I can only handle so much. Early in April I had started switching out my morning coffee for green tea and trying that intermediate fasting thing, Which would have been easy since I don’t have breakfast and eat lunch around 1 pm. I had to make sure dinner was on the table at 8pm though. But with moving date coming closer that all went downhill. So coffee again and dinner is often not before 10pm. I guess it is ok for now.

If you and I had coffee…
…I share that we had a family reunion over the Labor Day weekend (which is May 1st in Germany). It is also the day my gramps passed . That day six years ago we had decided to always have a family reunion that weekend and to keep in touch. It is just my dad and his sister and we are 5 cousins. Three of them with kids now. We also invite my gramps brother but he usually rarely stops by as he is in his 80ths. But his daughter and her kids are usually part.

It was nice seeing each other again since it was the first time since 2019 we managed to do so. In parts we had seen each other over the Holidays or last year at my birthday party. We have a rotating committee of two people who are in charge of organizing a bit of a program. This year it was my cousin and I. We had to adapt our initial program from 2020 of canoeing the river as we have three babies in the family now.

We started out with lunch at a small local inn that our gramps usually invited us too. We even booked in his name. After that we walked to a local private zoo called “Affengehege” meaning monkey enclosure. I have seen the signs a million times but had never been there. It turned out it is much bigger than expected and it had many more animals than monkeys. There was a baby kangaroo that peeked out of the pouch. Beloved tortoises could be spotted and a fancy golden pheasant that tried to get the females attention and was annoyed we looked closely. Unfortunately it was very cold so we couldn’t linger too long. That evening we had dinner at my aunts house and were able to talk long with one of my cousins and her husband which was nice. On Sunday everyone came for brunch to our country home. Weather picked up and we moved outside. I took many family photos in all variations and we chilled in the sun with coffee and cake and Swiss chocolate. Around 3 pm we headed for the village carnival with traditional maypole erection and dancing. Unfortunately there were technical problems and so the maypole was already up. Nevertheless I opened the dance floor with my nephew and hopped around for a bit while sipping a beer. It wasn’t a great event. But I am all for supporting local culture that is finally coming back. And since our family has some weight in the community (my grandpa (the other one from moms side) being a well loved pastor, my dad a politician) I thought it was a nice gesture too if we showed up. After that we went to the cemetery and just spend a bit time there, watering flowers, cleaning the graves setting up new flowers while the kids played around the site. Gramps would have loved that. He was so fond of children. Granny too, she would have brought her special ice cream as a treat. We ended the night with a bbq in the garden, my dad happy with his new bbq set and it tasted delicious, This evening my other cousin and her husband stayed longer so we got to chat with them. It was nice.

However there was also some tension in our family dynamics. I will not go into detail as it is private but I will say that it did make me very sad. And I was not alone in this sentiment. I am in a bit of a loss on how to handle the situation. As you may have figured family is important to me and I love and appreciate every single one. So this hurts. Family it is tough sometimes.

If you and I had coffee…
…I need to mention that the weather is really strange this year. The nights are still really cold barely above freezing at times while during the day temperatures rise to the 20°C. Finally trees are green and bushes are blooming but I do feel it is very late this year. But then I saw the chestnuts in full bloom yesterday and they usually bloom more towards my birthday wich is another four weeks. So all very peculiar. The bats have only showed their arial skills one night so far. Have you observed similar changes?

If you and I had coffee…
…I can report that my farewell list is going great. The only thing I won’t be able to do is the boat ride with my mom as I simply can’t find time. But we will do it and come back to visit. Next week I will visit the antique store. It has a bit odd opening hours so I have to make an effort. This past week I have already taken some images of the jewelry I am thinking to get. What do you think, any favorites? I have two favorites but I have no idea what they cost.

If you and I had coffee…
…I share that my 100day project is going strong and that I will finish it. I have missed three days so far and am a bit late. But with everything going on being able to sit down for an hour to find hidden poems and make art is not always possible. But it also has helped my mental health that I was able to fit in this exercise. So I will try to make some art this weekend and then the supplies need to go in the box and only pen is allowed to stay. Als always you can follow on instagram or if you don’t have instagram check the bottom of the page for the latest posts.

We used to have regular coffee dates here on the blog. This was fun. Maybe they should become a regular thing again.

Do you have regular family reunions? How do you handle conflicts in family? Do you observe a weather change where you are. What is you best moving hack?